Many students and faculty have assumed the redecoration of Henderson has been a change made by the school to improve Dawson’s environment. These same simpletons also believed that the redecoration correlating perfectly with St. Patrick’s day was just a coincidence. However, as many Irish experts know, Leprechauns are master hooligans, and seemingly innocuous shenanigans around St. Patty’s Day are usually a cover for their real dark and evil plots.
Jerry Henderson made a serious strategic blunder when choosing this spot for Dawson, as he unknowingly struck ground directly above an ancient Rainbow burial ground that Leprechauns had been using for eons. This was seen as an irredeemable insult to the Leprechaun Supreme Overlord President Chancelor Emperor Gargamel.
The Leprechaun empire, which once stretched from Istanbul to Constantinople, had been in a steady decay since the fall of the gold standard. Many Leprechauns saw Henderson’s incursion as the final nail in the coffin for Leprechaun kind and didn’t believe they could fight back.
However, the conniving king Gargamel devised a plan to pivot the Leprechaun economy from pots of gold to pots of tuition. Every St. Patrick’s Day, leprechauns reach the height of their power as they are fresh out of hibernation, and cosmic rays from the nebula system reach their peak amounts as our orbits fall in sync. To prepare for the heists, Gargamel initiates DEF-CHAUN 2 and sends his elite team, Chaun Men 6, to locate student tuitions and exfiltrate without being caught.
From our evidence, Mr. Moore has stepped up his tuition defense mechanisms. Mr. Moore spent millions on tuition protection bots that use AI technology to find leprechauns and exterminate them.
In previous years, Leprechaun incursions have gone almost entirely unnoticed due to lackluster security. However, this year, even a freshman could’ve figured out something had changed in the learning commons. In a stroke of genius, the Leprechauns rearranged the furniture to throw off the robots’ Al and used elite shadow puppetry techniques to convince the robots that they were leprechauns. Tragically, the leprechauns were once again able to sneak away with another year of tuition.
The whole school readily awaits Mr. Moore’s defense plan for next year.